My Rambling Mind (Part 1)

Welcome to my rambling mind; full of both sense and non-sense. Although this is mostly jiu jitsu related, I'll be sure to add some philosophical views as well. So without further adieu, let's fire up the old noggin.

I've been thinking a lot lately about Jiu Jitsu... I know, I know, pretty shocking. But what has made its presence stronger than normal is my desire to quit my job and train and teach full time. The thing is though, I don't know how to do that yet...

I know as of now, I have no plans on wanting my own school. However, I do have some business ideas that I need to further explore. But until I take the time to layout the plans, it only remains a nagging desire at the center of my soul.

Secondly, I have been really amped up to compete this year. I have a couple more events lined up and considering more as the events draw closer. I've definitely gained a lot more confidence out on the tournament mats and I am always looking forward to the opportunities to just get out there.

There have been so many losses over wins, yet somehow I feel more wholesome from the process. It is kind of funny to put in all this work, while working a full time job and having a family, only to come up short and still feel a sense of accomplishment. The thing is, that's the absolute nature of the game; anything came happen in a matter of seconds. One small mistake can cost you a match and one match can lose you a tournament. However, seeing that mistake afterward and taking the steps to improve for next time is what takes heart.

Battling the ego is a tiring journey as well. As much as I'd like to think I have those emotions in check, they occasionally find a way to resurface and cause me the need of a good humbling. It's a cyclical process of success and failure, similar to the philosophy behind the yin and yang. Constantly battling the ego and remaining positive can seem so impossible at times. But the journey is tiring; exhausting mentally, emotionally, and physically. 

It's something you get told when you start out, but until you're stuck in that plateau, until you have weeks of self-doubt of your abilities, until you consistently wake up after multiple months feeling like garbage from the session the night before only to continue to get back on the mats; you'll never truly understand the perseverance and mental toughness required to climb that mountain.

Those moments that you beat that feeling though... When you can look back and smile of what you managed to overcome, are honestly worth all the suck. I feel that has been my biggest accomplishment of all; facing myself. Pretty cliché, but I FEEL that in my soul.

There isn't enough time in the day. Simply put, I just have so much that I want to accomplish and I always find myself dedicating that time to plan out jiu jitsu classes to teach, to watch jiu jitsu techniques on youtube, to write blog posts and read books about it, and of course going to the gym and doing the art. Could I be any more obsessed? I think so. Please understand that by no means am I complaining about how I spend my time. I am only acknowledging my choice to do what I love most.

I've been reading and watching a lot of philosophy lately, and it has reminded me to consider how I choose to spend my time. Either I'm doing things that are contributing to my passions or I am not. It's that simple. I just have to slow down enough to think whether or not what I am doing is helping me achieve my goal(s). And ever since I started to do that, I've been a lot happier as a person. It's transcended into my home life and my job. When I'm happier, I can induce that happiness onto others and become more productive as a person. It's so simple.

With all that said, I can honestly say I'm the happiest I've been in a while. It feels good to know all the work put in over the years has been worth it. My outlook to the future is bright and full of goals and hope to achieve them. And last but not least, my drive to live in the now is what's the missing piece of the puzzle. So many years spent living in the future, wanting those results to just happen, have left me with the desire to do nothing more than just be thankful of the process itself. Enjoying the journey.

Losing Is Part Of The Cycle

Competition is a great way to put your skill to the test. It's a reality check of how your effort put into training will translate when you are put under pressure. It's an amazing feeling to have your hand raised and know that all your hard work got you to that point. At one point (or many) you are going to come up short. How will you handle the loss?

You lost the battle, not the war. Success is a living, breathing process and it could take a lot of failures to get to where you want to be. It is important to realize that when you lose, you must take it as an opportunity to learn and grow. Sure, it may be easier to say than do, but learning to manage your mental state in times like these is a crucial part of the game.

Statistically, I have lost more matches than I have ever won. I like to compare the feeling to one of my first major hobbies of skateboarding. It takes so many attempts to learn a basic movement and synchronize your body to be able to put that movement to the test. All the times you risk bodily harm, yet there's a beautiful thing happening; you are programming yourself to be mentally strong. I spent countless hours failing to eventually attain the goal that I was trying to reach for so long; landing the that trick. It's a feeling that no one can buy when your hard work speaks for itself.

Through determination and perseverance, all those failed attempts begin to shape the way you value the end result. I had never appreciated anything as much as the things that were accomplished after weeks, months, or even years of being unsuccessful. On that same token, my mind also began to appreciate that growing process just as much as, if not more, than the finished product itself. Embracing the suck and loving the process is what it is all about.

I've heard countless cliches over the years from person after person saying: "it's the journey not the destination," and "it's a marathon, not a sprint." Of course I thought I understood, but it never truly made complete sense until I experienced it for myself. Self-growth comes from reflecting on personal experiences; that is simply something you cannot fully feel from reading and studying. By using these reflections, we can began to understand what is lacking and shape the way we think and train to improve.

One of the first things I realized with competing is directly related to something I already knew about jiu jitsu in general. It's that same thing that gets relayed to someone who wants to start learning the art. They feel as though they have to get in shape for it first, yet to get in shape for jiu jitsu, you have to do it! The same goes for competition; if you want to get better at competing, you have to compete!

Thinking a little deeper on the other end of the spectrum, the idea of "being in shape first" is still slightly true. However I believe it's not being physically ready, but being mentally prepared to take on the process. It is going to take some serious mental strength to immerse yourself into such a different element of the game and learn to deal with the roller coaster of emotions that come along the way. That is the biggest barrier that stands in your way to begin something new. That is the barrier that needs to be hurdled to get better and win.

How is it possible to face this wall standing in front of you beforehand you might ask? Ask yourself ahead of time why you want to compete and if you are ready to put in the effort to prepare. Think about the benefits of putting yourself out there and testing what you have dedicated your time towards. And lastly, if you lose, take the time to see the chance to tighten up your game and start the process over again.

It's a beautiful process to train, perform, reflect, repeat.

With the main goal being to become a better martial artist and person as a whole. Put yourself out there and have fun with it. Competition is just another tool for learning the craft. By looking at every outcome as another way to learn, you will be one chance closer to getting where you want to be. Keep training and setting goals, and you'll be where you want to be before you know it. Success will not happen in a single day, so keep your head up and put in the work.